Candlelight dancing upon frosted panes,
Heavy blankets of snow across the lanes.
Radiant laughter echoing through the hall,
Icicles trembling, awaiting the thaw.
Silent and starry, the midnight sky keeps watch,
Tree decked with tinsel and glittering scotch. Magical wishes exchanged beneath the bough,
Angels announcing the blessing of now.
Spirit of kindness, the deepest joy to impart.
I haven’t written here in a long time and honestly I have no excuses for it.
Now I am about to try and begin writing again and this might be the hardest post I written yet but I feel it needs to be done.
For weeks, maybe months, the blog had been a graveyard of unfinished posts. Titles like “Finding Joy in the Everyday” and “Gratitude Journaling for a Brighter Tomorrow” lay dormant, mocking my own inability to achieve the very things I was supposedly writing about.
Now they all sit in my trash never to see the light of the day, and the reason for that is because recently I have been fighting with depression. It’s still there it hasn’t gone away but learning to love with it and get through each day despite how I feel has been the biggest of all challenges.
That is not to say each day is bad, there are good days where I feel fine and also bad days they tend to go hand in hand with one another and until I open my eyes each morning I have no idea which one is going to make an appearance.
“Depression. It’s not always what you think.”
They tell you it’s staying in bed all day. And sometimes it is. But sometimes it’s forcing myself to get up, to shower, to eat, to smile – all while feeling like a marionette whose strings are being pulled by a disinterested puppeteer. The effort it takes to simply exist is exhausting.
I am constantly reminded of the guilt, the crushing weight of expectation. The expectation to be present, to be productive, to be happy.
“They tell you it’s wanting to die. And sometimes it is. But sometimes it’s just wanting the noise to stop. The incessant chatter in my head, the self-doubt, the fear, the crippling anxiety that whispers I’m not good enough, not worthy, not… anything.”
Some days I feel nothing, that would be the best way to describe it. When in fact it’s not nothing because feeling nothing would be feeling something, it’s rather hard to try and explain but I know what I mean. Those days are just filled with emptiness and a lack of existence.
It’s not linear. It’s not a straight line down. It’s a rollercoaster. Highs and lows, twists and turns, moments of terror and fleeting glimpses of beauty. And sometimes, most terrifyingly, it’s just… still.
I am not okay, even now. But I will be. I have to believe that. I’m fighting. Every single day, I’m fighting. And that, in itself, is something. Sure every day feels like a wat and I am constantly battling with that on my brain, but I do have ever confidence and hope that it will get better. I will beat this and I refuse to let it define me anymore.
Because even in the depths of despair, there is always hope. And sometimes, the best way to find that hope was to simply be honest about the darkness.
So I had this idea to try and write 500 words every day during the month of June in hope that I can get back into doing a blog, as I just stopped and got to admit that I do miss it.
The idea was to do different things like book tags, random subjects and perhaps a few thoughts on Readathons I am planning for next year, as in ones I am hosting I do have two that I am working on.
Then I had the idea of generating a random word and trying to write 500 words around that but it just seemed to be too much, which brings me to my plan.
Each day I am going to pick a book tag or bookish style idea and just write that. Not sure how it will go but we shall see. Kind of hoping that it isn’t to difficult, but got a feeling it is going to kick my ass.
I would love to know your answers to any book tags that I do or any just stuff that I do. It would be great to see if you agree with me or not.
Not everything will be bookish but since my life revolves around them most of them will let’s face it.
Hey everyone, it’s been a hot minute since I created a blog post. Something that I want to try and change so I am actively trying to make a point of uploading a blog post at least once a week, some months maybe a couple a week and others a blog post each day, but I will explain all of that below.
Firstly, I created, well I say created I didn’t actually create, a new TBR game. I have over 800 books on my TBR and I am officially putting myself on a book buying ban until that is down to 650, it might seem like a challenge but I am certainly willing to give it a go.
So basically I decided to let Google pick my TBR each month. How I do this is two ways. I will firstly ask Google to pick a number between 1 and however many books I have on my TBR (they are all in a spreadsheet on my Laptop) and I have to read the book that corresponds to that number. If the book is a book in a series that I am not up to date with the I have to read the first book in that series that I can, of that makes sense. The second way is I have a list of 200 prompts (always looking for more ideas) and ask Google to pick a number in the same way and I have to pick a book that fits the prompt.
Usually I average on about 7 or 8 a month so starting May, yes May as I wanted to test the game out and not take it to seriously for the first month to see how it goes, I asked Google to pick four numbers for books from my TBR and then four from the prompts. This will make sense when I play it properly next month and hopefully get a blog post written up for it.
As for punishment I decided that if I don’t finish my TBR then I have to roll a D12 or D20 not decided yet and if I roll a six or lower then I have to roll a D6 and add that many books to my TBR using the list of TBR books and not prompts so I get no say in the books.
If I manage to read all the books in a month then the following month I am allowed to double up across TBR books and Book Prompts. It all makes sense to me at least. Hopefully it will make more sense to all of you when I play it here each month.
As for future plans I want to try and attempt Blogtober this year and I am planning a fee readathona but not sure when they will be ready so stay tuned for that and basically that is it.
Goodbye xx
This might at first seem strange but please hear me out as this is something that both me and a lot of British Holiday goers feel really passionate about.
Haven has made huge changes to our beloved Seaside Squad and it is devestating. I might be 31 but I broke down into tears when I saw what they have done to them.
I like so many people in the UK grew up with these characters and I can’t speak for anyone else but I feel like my childhood has just been ripped away from me. So many childhood memories are just all crumpled and ruined just knowing that this change has been made.
What gets me the most about all this is that they totally removed Bradley Bear and instead brought in his niece, Rory the Tiger now looks more like the cheetah in the Cheeto’s adverts, Anxious is now called Annie, because apprently he being called Anxious was offensive and the same with Greedy the Gorilla, he is now apprently the same character but he is now to be known as George the Monkey. Polly the lifeguard and Ned the DJ have been totally removed.
None of it makes sense. There are multiple petitions around to stop this change from happening. One of them you can find here https://chng.it/wL6V9p6KyH
So many children have been in tears over this change and as I said above I can join those children in being tears. Explain how these are the same characters as the ones above.
I am sure that I will never get over this. Call me dramatic but I am not the only one who is calling to Haven and begging them not to do this. It’s just devestating.
If you read this or a agree with it or even both then post it around. Send it everywhere and let it be known that me and so many others are not happy.
I just wanted to say that Readathons that have prompts that specifically require you to read an audiobook are starting to get more frequent. I am not going to name or call any out but I have noticed it happening in maybe 1 in 4 or 5 Readathons that I have looked at, am currently a part of and it isn’t exactly fair. The reasons listed below.
Firstly the last thing that I want to do is cause any arguments so please take this with a pinch of salt and understand that I have nothing against audiobooks or people who read them. You are more than welcome to read audiobooks if that is what you want and are able to do.
Number One: Not everyone can, or is able, to read audiobooks. I know that I for one can’t. I have to concentrate more on them as I have to listen and when I read I need silence or I just can’t focus. Listening to audio makes me have to focus more and as a result gives me really bad migraines. It’s happened every time I read audiobooks and so now I don’t read them and Readathons that say you have to listen to an audiobook to complete a prompt mean that I just no longer take part or am forced to skip that part of the Readathon and in some cases can’t complete certain prompts at all.
Number Two: It isn’t always easy to get access to audiobooks. I don’t have a Kindle or anything other than my phone that is able to get audiobooks. So listening to them literally drains my phone battery and if I get a message or phone call then it pauses the audio or I have to try and manually stop it to answer the call and then go back a page because the ringtone stopped me hearing what was said.
Number Three: This sort of ties into number one in that audiobooks give me, and I know a few other people in the book community, headaches and in my case that headache can come in the form of a mind crippling migraine. The reasons for this include, but are not limited to, having noise constantly in your ear and having to actively listen to what is being said, focusing more as you don’t always have access to the words and therefore have to pay more attention
I know that for some people none of the above is the case and they eat up audiobooks for breakfast, some people even read nothing but audiobooks.
However, there are those of us who can’t read audio for either the reasons listed above or for other reasons like they are deaf, have hearing difficulties or any number more reasons.
Therefore it isn’t fair for anyone hosting a Readathon to force anyone into reading a specific format. There are multiple ways to get around this and prompts could instead be worded differently. Here are a few that I thought of, yes it might be implied that you read audio but having the option to bend that needs to be made a thing, to take people’s health and abilities into consideration
Of course there are more ways you can word the prompts. I am sorry this got a little ranty in part but it does just really annoy me when I am forced to read an audiobook and then end up having to battle with a migraine for the next 24 or more hours.
A little thought and consideration goes a long way and even a few people will respect you so much for it. Again sorry for the rant it’s just a small topic that really does grind my gears so much.
Okay so I have pretty much been absent from my blog for some time now and J don’t really have any excuse for it. It just haven’t been in the mood to write up a blog post and if I am honest just don’t really have many ideas for what I want to write. I could always do a book tag but I can never find one that I really like so instead I just stopped posting and that needs to change. I just need to find some inspiration again.
I know it will come to me eventually but I just wanted to at least write something and this is what this blog post is, just a check in to let you know my plans for the next few months, not that I have much but stay tuned for a couple of what I think are rather exciting annouments.
Reading Plans for the next three months:
So I am in the middle of, or have just started, way to many series so in the months of May and June I want to try and focus on getting up to date with ones that are yet to be completed and also actually finishing out ones that are.
Exactly how well that will go I am not sure but there are a few that I want to prioritise so I am making myself accountable and posting them right underneath here. I think I am going to with a few series that I want to get to finishing ASAP.
And that is it for series I want to get finished for now. Of course there are also series that I really want to start, but hopefully I can at least wait until I finish a series before I begin a new one, of course we know that won’t happen. So just going to post a couple of series and trilogies I want to get to as well, no captions for these just a few front covers.
Of course there is more there is always more but I would be here forever if I listed them all so these are just the ones that I am most excited about starting and of course the ones that I want to finish as soon as I can.
Now if you are still here it is time for the most exciting part. Me and my sister are planning a year long Readathon. It’s going to be based around Lilo and Stitch. .
There will be a Discord and it will involve recruiting characters to help you collect up all the known experiments and we might even create a few of our own for good measure. But it’s going to be a blast and I hope you can join us. The plan is to begin on July 15 and run until July 15 but we shall see.
Until next time, hopefully it won’t be too long this time.
Recently I read The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller and I loved it. I knew how it would end because I know the Myth and yet I was still hoping I was wrong.
I knew it would break my heart into a million pieces, but didn’t expect it to bury those pieces and just leave them to disintegrate over and over into nothing.
Which leads me onto the title of this blog. I have become obessed with Achilles myths. I mean be that retellings like Song of Achilles or the actual myth itself. I just can’t get enough and know that I need to read more and despite just finishing The Song of Achilles last month I know I need to re read it again as soon as possible. It has easily become my all time favourite book. I just loved it so much.
Other than books I have become obsessed with Pokémon Arceus. I have never had so much fun playing a Pokémon game. Do you play Pokemon Arceus? If you do have you found a shiny Pokemon yet? What was it? What was your first ever shiny Pokemon in and what was your first Pokemon Arceus shiny?
Mine was a shiny Zubat way back in Pokémon Ruby/Sapphire and I had no pokeballs to catch it. The first shiny I found in Pokémon Arceus was Electabuzz.
Of course I am also obessed with anything to do with Legend of Zelda. I love it so much and am one of the few who really loves Revali. But any way I am obessed with it. Love the manga and the games. I get way to into them and sure most of them get on my nerves mainly because Link is an idiot but still it’s addictive.
What are some things you are obessed with?
I decided to jump on the bandwagon and do this. I have no idea how this will go. But come the end of the year I will see what I have read and what I haven’t.
Yes it is almost the end of January, so might re visit this at the end of January 2023 and see then, but you never know.
The Books decided to list them rather than just put the covers on. Simply because I want to get back into actually writing blogs.
And there we have it. I will check back in a year and see what I have actually read from this list.
How many do you reckon? I am going to go with 15. I know some of them I am desperate to get to. So really hope I do.
A while ago I made a blog post about if I could only keep 30 books. Now I thought I would try it again as my tastes have changed and I am not the same person I was when I made that post. Although I would like to change it up a bit and sort of put my own spin on it. So I incorporated three rules that I will have to abide by. Now it’s not just 30 books but an additional two things. It will make sense as you read on I promise.
Does that make sense? Hopefully if it does it will as we go on. This is going to be difficult. I can already tell that.
Three Authors.
Anyone who knows me could probably skip this part as they will automatically know my three authors. I will buy anything they ever write without question. Do you know them yet?
How many did you guess correctly? Did I surprise you with that last one? Bet it wasn’t what you thought it would be. Well let me tell you a secret. It wasn’t what I thought it would be either.
Three Series
Now we come to the part of this blog I have been dreading. Time to pick the 30 books. Got a feeling I am going to wish I could have more than 30. But let’s get into it.
Number 1:
Number 2:
Number 3:
Number 4:
Number 5:
Number 6:
Number 7:
Number 8:
Number 9
Number 10:
Number 11:
Number 12:
Number 13:
Number 14:
Number 15:
Number 16
Number 17:
Number 18:
Number 19:
Number 20
Number 21
Number 22
Number 23
Number 24
Number 25
Number 26:
Number 27
Number 28
Number 29
Number 30
And there we have it. That was so hard. I realised just how many books I wanted to keep. What books would you keep if you had to follow my rules? I would love to know.
Book Club of the North 